[I loved the movie. It wasn't as disappointing as I thought it'd be. That's why I love it. It was only slightly disappointing.]


During the previews someone looked at me and asked, "Where did you get that book?" She pointed to my SQUEE's Wonderful Big Giant Book Of Unspeakable Horrors. I was surprised that a JTHM fan was at a Twilight movie. Maybe she was forced to watch it with her sister. Anyway I told her I got it at Waldenbooks/Borders and she smiled giddily, and thanked me. She said she was a fan. I just smiled and nodded. She looked very normal. Odd.

And FOR SOME REASON, the previews were in perfect aspect ratio, but during the movie you could clearly see that part of the top of the screen was cut off during the movie. What's up with that shit?

So in the beginning of the movie, Edward dumps Bella. And she's all freaking out and shit, and she screams in her sleep. BUT SHE DOESN'T EVER CRY.

Why doesn't she cry? She loved Edward and shit, so she should be bawling! Is the actor not good enough at acting to cry? That's my best guess actually.

The wolf boys are pretty funny. They have a sense of humor and are all energetic -- unlike the vampires. Those emo gothic fucks. At least the wolves are playful and friendly, LIKE DOGGIES but some of them are a bit stuck up when they don't know Bella. But then again she did fucking slap a bitch. That bitch turned into a giant ass wolf. The wolves look great. They're as big as horses if not bigger.

I want a wolf like that. Anyway I liked the wolves better than the vampires. They have fun and the voltory or whatever the fuck it's called is like "Die die die" and shit. Prissy sparkling faggots.

When Edward finally finds out Bella's alive, it's very unemotional. It goes like this.

Bella: Edward open your eyes! I'm alive!
Edward: Noes
Bella: Do it faggot
Edward: -opens eyes- O hi c:
Bella: O: -breathes heavily-
Edward: I love you a lot c:

Okay that was a little exaggerated but still. Where is the crying in this movie? He should be like
"Oh my god ; ; I missed you and stuff, hug me and kiss me and cry with me god dammit you angsty lesbian"
I know Edward wouldn't say "angsty lesbian" but that's what Bella makes me think of. Angsty lesbians.

Bella's immune to all vampire special powers, except Jasper's mood control for some reason. Why? Is she an angel or something? Fuck, I bet it doesn't explain that. She's just a super special awesome human. GOD, she reminds me of Kagome, but she makes LESS SENSE than Kagome.

(I lol'd at the dream she had.)

Anyway, there seemed to be no Edward fangirls in the theater. There sure were some Jacob fans. I agree with them, he's pretty cool. Lol'd when he took off his shirt and people were like WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Also when he first came on the screen people were like "oooh woooo" Heh.

There was a fangirl right next to me. When Bella said she couldn't be with Jacob, the fangirl whispered "I'd be with you Jacob"

I was like o_O He can't hear you. I didn't say that outloud.

Anyway that was fun. It was a funny movie. Even my Dad laughed. But he also eventually fell asleep.

THE END WAS STUPID. STUPID. It ended too soon. God I love wolves. "Will you marry me?"
OH, I WONDER WHAT SHE'LL SAY. SUSPENSE

Then I read Squee, and it was AWESOME. Jhonen used a character named Wobbley head Bob, so I considered renaming my character, Bob, which will be appearing in the next IFM. But I decided it wouldn't be necessary. I love my Bob. Even though he's something I created. D8